Sorting things out

I am still trying to make sense of how it is fair that I am paying my ex-husband’s business expenses because he ended up losing his business and filing chapter 7.   I can see where I signed the paperwork, even though I was just going along with signing the paperwork because I figured I was silly for worrying the business would flop.

Turns out I was not silly.   I should trust my instincts sometimes.

So until I am able to do something else, I am stuck paying money to the guy who loaned him money.

It could be worse.  We are still able to pay bills.   It could be a bigger amount.   People could be coming by to take our stuff, but they’re not.

So why do I feel so awful about it?   Because it is not fair.   It’s not moral, even though it is legal.

I went to counseling for awhile.   She told me I needed to get mad, and I am, but I’m not sure that helps.

Now, I am worried about my health.   It must be the new thing to worry about.   I had my heart checked out in stress test.  It is fine.    A doctor prescribed new meds, but I have days when I just don’t feel right… even though the numbers look alright.   I just changed meds today, and I need to let them sink in.   I need to trust my doctor is doing the right thing.   If something happens, then I can always go to the ER, right?  🙂

Everything is going to be fine.   I just need to relax a little and stop worrying.   I can do it, because I’ve already survived a lot.   I survived leaving a bad marriage and moving on.   I survived living on my own with my daughter for awhile and filling out paperwork for my new husband to come to America.  I survived people being pretty crappy to me and all sorts of things.

I flew all the way to England on my own, feeling some of the anxiety that I do now.  I took a chance, and it was totally worth it.

I can do this, too.  🙂