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It’s Hard to Know

What to say to a girl when it hits her, sometimes in the middle of Nebraska Furniture Mart, that she misses her daddy. You can surround a girl with all the love and support she needs, but still, rising to the surface at times, is the sudden tug of missing someone she loves. All we could say is that we were sorry she was sad and that we’re here for her. It doesn’t bring her dad back, but what else can we do?

We take on the problems of the day, when there are some, and think about all the many good things to be happy about. There are good reasons not to be sad, but I bet it’s hard to see them every now and then when you’re 10.

As my mother reminds me… “This too will pass.” Time heals. Maybe not everything, but at least it numbs things enough where we can focus on things we DO have control over.

Crabbiness is not fun

for anyone. I had a really crabby day yesterday. I blame stress and hormones, because I am a woman, afterall, and what else could it possibly be?

I have a LOT on my plate right now. For the most part, I can put most of it on the back burner. But every now and then, the stressful bits come off the back burner and play around in my head. One thing leads to another. As more minute things happen, the crappiness (and the crabbiness) stockpiles.

Rather than allow this to happen, I have a plan, or two.

When things seem overly annoying, I can:

Put on my sneakers and take a walk (or a run)
Grab my sketchbook and find something to draw. It’s good to have a project that involves concentration, so I can do one of my art class projects.
Grab a glass of wine. Of course, this doesn’t work out well mid-morning.
Stop internalizing things. It’s not necessary to spew out things to people as they annoy you, either, unless it’s really tactful.. especially at work. But this doesn’t stop me from pulling out a piece of paper or opening notepad and writing something to make me feel like I’ve got it off my chest, either.
Try to think of things that are not bad, although sometimes this is difficult mid-crisis 🙂

Adjustment of Status

Today, the Chicago immigration office will be receiving our Adjustment of Status paperwork.

After arriving in the US with a fiance visa, an immigrant has 90 days to get married to their intended spouse. They have a right to remain in the US, technically, until their landing card (i-94) runs out. In order to legally remain, the “adjustment of status” paperwork has to be submitted.

Our filing involves a request to adjust residence status to permanent, authorization to be hired by an American employer and for authorization to travel and return to the US.

It’s a shorter waiting game than the fiance visa was. We expect everything to be done by the middle of qimi.

In the meantime, once our paperwork is received and entered, we can start watching it’s progress through the USCIS tracking system. Hopefully, all the paperwork is what they need and there will be no “requests for information” along the way.

Nebraska is officially frozen

I only know because work is closed (rarely happens) and so is everything else. It feels like -14F outside (that’s -25c), and we have a foot of snow that’s blown and drifted overnight. Molly, the little dog, has to be careful about where she goes outside, because the snow is currently taller than her. Good thing the bouncy Golden Retriever is here to swoosh the snow out of the way!

A Perfect Day

On 16女学生小嫩嫩bb 29th, I married Ian. It was a long time coming, since the circumstances of our situation required us to work with immigration to obtain permission for us to be married in the United States, and for him to remain with me afterward.

Our wedding ceremony was exactly what we wanted: something meaningful and heartfelt. The judge’s words touched me from the very beginning, causing tears to stream down my face. For that moment, the world melted away and it was just the two of us, standing together, making a committment to love, honour and be faithful for the rest of our lives, no matter what.

I stood there thinking, as well, about all of the time that we endured the immigration trials and tribulations, and this moment, which we really worked for, was finally here and happening, after 7 months of being separated and waiting to be together again. It was our moment and it was right and surreal, in a sense, and perfect.

Afterward, many tears and smiles and laughter everywhere amongst the people who were able to attend. I really missed the people who couldn’t be there.. Ian’s family and friends and my friend Jane. We were thinking of them all, and we hope to celebrate with them next year when we return to England (can’t wait!).

We had photos taken, we went to dinner at the Upstream restaurant in the Old Market, and then spent the night at the Hilton Garden, where there happened to be a jacuzzi in the room.

Of course, we were quick to update Twitter and Facebook. Hey.. we’re techies. What can I say?

Two days later, we made a return trip to the courthouse to pick up the certified copy of our marriage license. Being in that place again made me weepy. We needed the marriage certificate so we could file a new set of paperwork with the United States Citizenship and Immigration Services; our Adjustment of Status paperwork, which will allow Ian to remain for 2 more years. After 2 years, there’s a bit more paperwork for his 10 year green card, but nothing seems so difficult when you’re together to work on it.

Thanksgiving has come and gone

We cooked up a huge feast for Thanksgiving, and it was lovely. Thanksgiving, for those of you unaware, this is a holiday where we celebrate a moment in history where the (British) Pilgrims and the Indians came together and had dinner in celebration of their combined decision to “make peace, not war”.

The first Thanksgiving feast lasted three days providing enough food for 53 pilgrims and 90 Native Americans.

We cooked a mixture of US and UK recipes, including Yorkshire pudding, cornbread stuffing, turkey, roast potatoes and a salad which includes acini di pepe, whipped cream and strawberries. Oh, and apple pie. Good stuff.

Well, off to do wedding stuffs! Getting married tomorrow. The pastry chef wants to know where the cake topper is. 🙂

Busy Weekends

I think we spent most of Saturday out of the house. It was “engagement photo day!” (check the sidebar gallery) where we had some nice photos taken and also got to learn about photo upselling at JcPenney. We wondered why the photographer had us pose in “Twister”-like formation. Turned out it was to get a fancy Christmas snowglobe shot, which we weren’t even there for.

Tip for photography: Only do the poses you want to do

We spent hours walking the mall, talking and planning for the upcoming weekend (wedding!). We picked up bits and bobs on our “oh crap, we need to remember not to forget this” list. We had lovely food (I have a new-found love for mushroom risotto.. and finding the risotto in the market) and watched odd tv shows. It was fun and relaxing. 🙂

TLK was back on Sunday in time for pork stew, which was very nice. We kept telling her those orange things were sweet potatoes, but she didn’t believe us. “They’re carrots!” LOL

Tonight, it’s off for the hopeful H1N1 vaccine for TLK. We’ll wait in line for ages, but at least we can say we’re trying, even if we don’t get in. Ergh.

Monday is my last workday for 8 days. Yay! Getting married Sunday (YAY!) My parents show up tomorrow morning (Yay!)

Saturday Wanderings in Art-Like Formation

Ian and I had a lovely day yesterday. He decided to do some driving and even got on the motorway. At the end, he always says, “No crashes! Another good day of driving!” 🙂 Yesss…. hehe

We were off to meet the lady I’ve hired to do my hair for the wedding. She was really encouraging, which I’m thankful for, because my hair is just difficult.

More shopping (at the mall, for wedding things) and then lunch at M’s Pub, where we indulged in wheat beer, lamb salad and maybe some escargot. 😀

We took a tour of some Old Market art galleries, including this one, which kept us busy looking for awhile. There was a lot to like there, including ceramics, glass panels, masks and paintings. I think my favorite artist was the one who did wood sculptures out of walnut.

It was a good day. I think we may be planning to run off to Joslyn today, after doing a few things around the house.

There IS no laundry fairy.

People can be arses

I had quite a rough day yesterday (nothing Ian-related, btw). I don’t handle conflict well. My normal method involves quite a bit of being upset, being angry, being hurt, arguing my point, people ignoring my point and going on with their own and then my not being able to let go of it for a bit.

It takes me awhile to get over being angry or hurt. Does it you?

I was lying in bed this morning with a flurry of thoughts going through my head. I don’t feel like I am a strong person, but I want to be. Yesterday, I laid out a compromise plan and intend to stick by it. In this case, no one can make me (or us) do what we don’t want to do. I hate feeling weak and feeling like I can be pushed around, because, even though I try to be nice and give people what they want, I’m important to, and frankly, I’m not going to be pushed around.

I was lying in bed trying to stop thinking about annoying things. I’ve found a few happy places to go to, like Ian’s old flat in Milton Keynes on the first day I arrived in qimi of last year. I was napping, thinking about how wonderful it was to finally be with Ian, and listening to the sound of the construction in the building next door. You might think this wouldn’t be too relaxing, with the construction and all, but the rythmic boom of what they were doing lulled me to sleep.

I said a little prayer and asked God for some help coping with things. I think what I need to ask for is more strength and determination.

In other, more happy news, having Ian here is wonderful, even though sometimes I feel sorry for the earfuls he’s had to have lately (at least they’re not about him). lol It’s good to have our little family together. Yesterday, I found Ian on the couch singing to himself. He was singing the “Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, I’m going to go eat worms” song. I was mad at my day at the time and opened up a book I checked out from the library so I could focus on.. anything.

A few minutes later, he was still singing this song, but I had no idea why. I looked up at the tv, and there was the “Hello Kitty” DVD playing. LOL. Poor man. I stopped the DVD, and then we both realized we’d missed Flash Forward, but there was still time to see Grey’s Anatomy (part of it) and The Practice. I found a beer in the fridge. We split the beer, watched TV and went to bed.

We went shopping last night. We bought a new DVD player and some presents for Ian’s birthday, which is next week. Exciting! 🙂

Have a good day, people. Tell all the bad people to take a flying leap. You’ll thank me later.

Our First Weekend

We had a lovely weekend, in part thanks to the warm weather. Yesterday, we packed TLK’s bicycle into the trunk/boot of the car and went up to the lake. She peddled around the walking trail while we walked. Walking is so much more relaxing and fun to do when you do it as a couple, or as a family.

At one point, TLK was cycling carefully down a steep path and Ian walked beside her, holding onto the middle of the handlebars to prevent her going too fast. It was at that point when I thought, “We are doing little family things together and this is what it’s all about.” You have to love it when plans come together and life morphs into a wonderful thing.

When we got home, we (and I mean “Ian”, mostly) cooked a roast dinner that was… to die for. Honestly. Roast pork, potatoes, honeyed parsnips, orange (flavoured) carrots and Yorkshire pudding. Not only was it cooked, but it was also cleaned up after, which was loads of work! I offered to help and I was shewed out of the kitchen.

I plan to do my equal share, honest. I AM cooking this week. I may have to hide the utensils to do it, though. 😀

All I have to say is: Life is fab. We’re getting married in just a few short weeks (yay!), then we’ll be working on Ian’s temporary green card. I started working on the paperwork ages ago for a sort of “There is something I can do while we’re waiting for these other bits of the fiance visa process to finish” therapy, and it’s nearly ready to be looked over by other eyes than mine.

I just thought I’d let you know I’m still alive. 😀