Today, I saw my doctor. The one who delivered The Little Kid 6 years ago. He cracks me up.
I asked him one question… “What’s all this HPV testing stuff about?” I ended up getting a humorous rendition about how couples who are married for 15 years are having an HPV test turn up positive. My doctor said that HPV is passed on through sexual contact. The only way to suddenly turn up positive when you’ve been negative for awhile is that one of you has been messing around with someone else. He told me that’s happened to a few couples and neither one would fess up to having an affair. He said, “What do you say to them when they say that?”
Then he mentioned there is a vaccine for girls who are age 9 and up. He said that normally it’s only recommended for girls who are potentially sexually active. I thought to myself that if my child is even thinking about sex at age 9, something is terribly freaking wrong.
I guess there are things you don’t immediately think about when you give birth to a child. This is one of them!
My doctor said, “Well, on another note, you lost 3 pounds since we saw you last time. At least you’re not gaining weight. Some people gain 5 pounds a year and that’s not good. You might want to work on a little more than 3 pounds a year.. maybe step it up to 6.” (where he started laughing, and so did I)
I said, “Yeah, by the time I’m 70, I’ll be really thin.”
At this point, he did some quick math in his head and told me how much I would weigh by then. I don’t understand how people do math in their head. I really don’t.
Overall, this visit made my week. Sometimes, I wish he would just change specialties and become a primary care physician. Then I could see him more often than once a year.