“Feeling paralyzed and helpless makes you hungry and dissatisfied with life. Action and goal-oriented change make you feel strong and in control.”
– Self Esteem
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Who Am I?
I’m sitting here listening to my iPod and one of my new downloads, “Who Am I?” by Point of Grace. This song reminds me of a few hours earlier, when I was driving home from work and noticed, far off in the distance, a formation of clouds. In the midst of the formation, a break in them allowed a concentrated stream of light to shine through.
Aside from a rainbow or a meteor shower, this is probably one of the most beautiful sights in the sky to me. Paintings are made from it.
It was at that moment that I began to think of how peaceful my week had been. In the midst of the “Terrible-Cold-I’m-Going-To-Pass-Out” day, the frequent demands at work, etc., etc., it’s been a serene week for me, touched by small things (and maybe a few larger ones) that made me want to say “thank you for the gifts” to whomever allowed me to receive them.
To me, the gifts came from whatever power lies behind life, whatever is guiding our destinies, whatever allows a moment (or two) of peace to envelope us. Maybe that is God, or the wind, maybe fate, or perhaps a chef creating something interesting out of the ingredients of our world.
Living in the Moment
I’ve been listening to, “The Power of Now, A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment“, by Eckhart Tolle. As I listen, it becomes more obvious to me (a person who constantly tries to live in the past or the future) how much of life is wasted by not living in the current moment.
As strange as it sounds, if you can manage to use all of your senses to absorb “now”, maybe not ALL of your day through, but starting with a few moments out of the day, there is a certain joy that can develop in those few moments. They are free of worry. They are moments spent on yourself.
If you suffer from worry because you can’t let go of the past or constantly worry about what is going to happen in the future, you might consider getting this (choose the audio version.. trust me..) from the library and trying it out.
So far, it’s helped me sleep better at night, and try to observe how that little punishing voice inside my head is trying to punish me for every little mistake.
La Dolce Vita
Tonight, after dinner, my husband, daughter and I went out for a motorcycle ride. It was the first time that I felt comfortable with what I was doing. I had time to look around and enjoy the scenery, play around with my road position, and practice maintaining a proper staggered formation.
My daughter enjoys riding with her dad. Of course, she’s properly suited and helmeted and booted.
I’ve always been a little nervous getting out of the garage. It’s a lot of maneuvering and a slow start and requires a lot of balance. Tonight before we took off, I sat there for a second and looked at my husband, who signaled me to take a deep breath, which I did. And I was ready to go.
While I was driving, I was thinking about an audio CD I’ve been listening to, “Live Like You Mean It“. Today, I heard something about how people fail to speak to God, even when they know He will bring them comfort. And praying or asking for help isn’t rocket science; just be yourself. Carry on a conversation with God, like you would your best friend.
So on the way, I asked God to watch over our ride, and make sure we did all the right things, so that we’d arrive home safely.
It wasn’t that I doubted our ability to ride, or any one else’s ability to interact with us. I just figured, why not just have a little conversation with God? Why NOT ask for a little protection? There certainly wasn’t any harm in it.
Well, there is no moral to this story. We arrived home safe and sound, and much more happy and relaxed than we were before we’d left.
It was a good ride.
Earth School
I’ve always felt like life on earth is all about lesson learning and practice for something different that happens at the end of our stories. I saw this at Gemmak’s, and also 新梅金瓶 to the Daily Om via email newsletter. Most days, I can get something very profound and true out of these postings. Here’s one I can really relate to.
A Life Of Learning
Earth SchoolLife is the province of learning, and the wisdom we acquire throughout our lives is the reward of existence. As we traverse the winding roads that lead from birth to death, experience is our patient teacher. We exist, bound to human bodies as we are, to evolve, enrolled by the universe in earth school, an informal and individualized academy of living, being, and changing. Life’s lessons can take many forms and present us with many challenges. There are scores of mundane lessons that help us learn to navigate with grace, poise, and tolerance in this world. And there are those once-in-a-lifetime lessons that touch us so deeply that they change the course of our lives. The latter can be heartrending, and we may wander through life as unwilling students for a time. But the quality of our lives is based almost entirely on what we derive from our experiences.
Earth school provides us with an education of the heart and the soul, as well as the intellect. The scope of our instruction is dependent on our ability and readiness to accept the lesson laid out before us in the circumstances we face. When we find ourselves blindsided by life, we are free to choose to close our minds or to view the inbuilt lesson in a narrow-minded way. The notion that existence is a never-ending lesson can be dismaying at times. The courses we undertake in earth school can be painful as well as pleasurable, and as taxing as they are eventually rewarding. However, in every situation, relationship, or encounter, a range of lessons can be unearthed. When we choose to consciously take advantage of each of the lessons we are confronted with, we gradually discover that our previous ideas about love, compassion, resilience, grief, fear, trust, and generosity could have been half-formed.
Ultimately, when we acknowledge that growth is an integral part of life and that attending earth school is the responsibility of every individual, the concept of “life as lesson” no longer chafes. We can openly and joyfully look for the blessing buried in the difficulties we face without feeling that we are trapped in a roller-coaster ride of forced learning. Though we cannot always know when we are experiencing a life lesson, the wisdom we accrue will bless us with the keenest hindsight.
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